Introduction

Hello friends,

I’ve written and rewritten this introduction ten times this morning, and it still doesn’t feel right. In fact, at the moment, I feel so messed up, so broken, so clueless that I don't know if I should be writing this book at all.

And yet even in the midst of my mixed-upness I feel compelled to write to you today. There's this eternal itch, a cosmic pull within me that won't let go. 

When I am quiet with myself, I get this wild feeling.  Every cell in my body feels ignited. Like an electrical zap, it pings me again and again, calling me against my own volition to move deeper into this world. 

And so here I am writing this book to remind myself, you, and all of the battle-worn human beings out there that beneath this tornado of doubt - actually smack dab in the CENTER of it exists a kind of magic, a kind of love so eternal that it can't be divided. 

It's swirling and whirling at our heels all of the time, waiting for us to stop running from it, waiting for us to drop to our knees and say, “Okay, I give up. You can have me.” And when it finally overtakes us we realize there was never any reason to run.

This book is about calling - my calling and yours. It's about going into the caves our parents told us not to enter. It's about being pulled by something so much greater than ourselves. In the midst of our messy human lives something bigger beckons.  

At the age of fifty-two, divorced and on my own, life demands of me in ways I never imagined it would. Bills need to be paid and responsibilities need to be tended to, and yet there's this elemental pull. I feel a tug beckoning me deeper into the mystery of it all. There's a calling that refuses to be ignored. 

And so, this book will follow my one-year experiment where I ask, “What happens when we follow that inner pull towards greatness? What happens when we follow our bliss?  What happens when we allow ourselves to sink wholeheartedly into the magic of our lives?”

Can we be happy? Can we pay the bills? Can we play the human game while simultaneously going deeper into the nether realms of our wild, passionate hearts?  

For this book, my journey will be documented in real time. Like a series of postcards sent to you, my reader friends, I will head into unfamiliar territory with a notebook full of questions, reporting back to you as I go. 

Included in this book will be the interviews I conduct. Like a podcast in written form, you’ll get to join me as I talk with healers, mystics, artists, and visionaries who are following their personal callings. I’ll be conversing with those who have sought to foster and fuel their inner genius and now look to inspire and touch the inner glow of others. 

We’ll discuss magic, mystery, and the strange balance that us mystic-visionary-eccentric types must cultivate to live and work in an often off-kilter and unsupporting world.  

Author and teacher Marc Allen, whose interview you'll find in the pages ahead, tells a story about his thirtieth birthday. He was broke and miserable. On a desperate whim, he wrote down his ideal scene - everything he wished for his five-year future. This small act set him on a course to eventually create the New World Library, one of the most well-regarded publishing houses in the United States, helping millions of people connect deeper with their souls.

In my ideal scene, I imagine, three years from now I have a beautiful property nestled along a fresh and flowing body of water. As a helper - a healer of sorts, I assist people in discovering their magic within. In this vision, I have enough money to support myself and other visionaries on their journeys. 

Perhaps by sharing my writing journey with you, we can together realize our dreams.

Since my divorce, my life no longer moves in straight lines. For me, it darts and juts around with the rolling currents of my soul, like an underground river it forges unseen paths, aggressively carving out underground caverns, building a new sense of self from the inside out.  Lately I no longer know who I am. 

This book will document the magical, mysterious inside-outness of life as we together explore the mythic possibilities so many of us yearn to follow, leading us deeper and deeper into our inner forests and yet somehow always bringing us right back out again.